26 October 2011

Count on me, just like 123

You can count on me.. ~ :)

Posted by my memories at 6:19 PM

26 July 2011

GPA 4.0

Hope that I can really do well for my exams in Accounting. Last year, first semester, I was really badly affected and didnt do really well. But did manage to focus one week before exams. Second Sem was much better. Can really focus, tho I still lost all my motivation.

This year, I'm really not sure. I really need "the" motivation. But, where do I find it?? sigh.. sometimes, my tears can drop for no reason..

Hope I can overcome the "distractions" as soon as I can.. really hate it..

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Posted by my memories at 11:38 PM

Should I?

I really do not know what to do whenever requests came. I may accept on M and T. but not really on the last one. because, I'm afraid I might see smth I dont wish to see.. Yes, its true that I maybe running away from the fact. But please.. I still cannot forget everything and treat it like nothing had happen and live the nxt day normally happily.

Posted by my memories at 11:33 PM

Time to move on..

Time to move on.. but I'm not sure when I can.. I shouldn't try at all.. perhaps, all things would be different.. Any regrets? idk.. there's currently nothing that can make me not think without being sad.. my friends always say, time will help.. time isn't helping.. everyday its still the same thing. I hope that I can really find someone that really cherish me and give me her true love and care no matter what happens. 


I dont want another, "Sometimes, things are difficult to say"..

Posted by my memories at 11:29 PM

09 January 2011

I miss you alot..
















I fractured my right thumb.. ): my cupboard fell on me.. pain.. pain.. ): hope it recover soon.. it still hurts a little now. This coming Wed, going KTPH for MRI scan.. well, comfim something bad is in my body. SIGH!

okay. First day of work on Mon. Not too bad, nice colleagues. Funny ones and learn quite afew things. (: Have few of them quite young. (: but, I just dont know wad to do. There's one colleague who looked almost like her! How am I going to forget her like that? Cant help but to keep glancing at her.. nah. nvm.. Just continue to love her ba, since I cant forget.


Sigh.. Its 9th of January now. And I'm still thinking of you constantly. Whenever I'm alone, or I see couples being sweet or hear songs like, 我爱的就是你，小酒窝(My fav song which you remembered)，MJ's, you're not alone, Always Be my Baby and etc. All the memories would come back. Sometimes, I couldnt help but cry in my heart.

I remembered there was once you asked me, What if one day, you want to break up with me, What would I do or how would I feel? I said, "you would have your reasons wanting to break up with me, and I would respect your decision". Its true, I respected your decisions. Reluctantly. And I regretted it. But,  I have yet to know WHY. Wads the reason that you wanted SO MUCH, to break up with me.

That evening that I cried in front of you, I really thought to myself, wad have I done?

Tmr, you and I would be taking our O's results. Last year, my biggest fear was you, to change your heart once you're in Poly. But now. Everything is not the same.


If I were given a chance to be with you again, even the ending is the same, I would. Because I really loved you..


我爱的真的就是你。

*I would never argue with you again. I'm Sorry. I'll never let you change for me. And I would compromise with you, with anything you wish. As long as we can be together again. Let that be my best birthday gift ever.. Love you..

Posted by my memories at 9:13 PM

02 January 2011

Happy 2011!

Its a new year. 2011. Well, it wasnt as nice as last year. Perhaps a sad and empty one? On New Year's day, I kept thinking and thinking if I should wish you? But I guess, I better not. Because you wont reply anyway.

It has been a year aft we were tog. Till now, the day that you accepted me was the best New Year gift I had. The happiness and sweetness of calling you dear and darling. I still cant forget the first day we met at shss at CCA fair. Also, our first date at Iluma-which I couldnt pronouce properly -eluma? I also kepy bending down, cause I couldnt hear you. And when we reached the bus-stop which I wanted to give you my first. But was shy. Of course the passing of sweets too.

Each and everytime when you lie on my shoulder. I would ask myself, how lucky I was to have you holding my hands and letting my arms to wrap your waist, combing your hair, your fringe to the side. There was also once which we didnt met for 3 weeks. That was really not an easy time for me.

I also remembered how funny and cute you was when we was caught by your sister's friend. The I Love You sweets which you looked so surprise when you asked what I wanted to give you. Also the Birthday wish you gave me. Tho there was no presents, being with you was the best gift ever.

On 22nd April was a day that I was at my bottom of my life. At the bench when you even let go of our hands, that was the last straw. I just cried in front of you, I couldnt hold back anymore, I kept asking myself not to cry on bus when we are on the way. But I did. Thanks for the tissue you gave, I still kept it in my drawer.

Sometimes I really regret breaking up with you. Because I knew I couldnt forget you at all. There were many times which I tried to forget you, by laughing at you on fb, making you angry. But that doesnt work at all. Speaking the truth, everytime I did that, my heart breaks. Thats why I apologise to you on your birthday. Sorry that I didnt get you a gift I promised.

I kept the promise to study hard. On the first few days of school, I kept studying and neglected you. You was angry, so I kept my pace down, so I could have more time with you. Skipping my CCAs at times to meet you at night. But I found it weird when you asked me not to put all my focus on studies, while you did, and didnt care about me in the end.

You once told me when you cried because of your studies and issues with friends, "You are my only source of motivation". Its true, I lost all of the motivation to study when you're not by my side. On 1st June, our promise and also 12th Nov after your Os. These were the two days that I cry myself to sleep. The letter you gave, was the best tap I have, there was never once I did not cry reading just the first sentence. That was the first and the last I Love You you wrote to me.

Keeping our promise, I have gotten a GPA 4.0 last semester. The highest one could ever get with Distintion. Also, wanting to go poly faster to be with you, I took up O' lvls English every Friday. I could say that, you were my motivation to work harder each time.



Now, it had been eight months after our breakup. One thing that I would like to tell you. I was never with that girl you said. Yes, we went out to the places I wanted to take you to. Yes, I liked her before. But, the only person I love is really you. I was devoted and faithful to you. I never once glance at any other girls or change my mind no matter how many times we quarrelled.

I sometimes just wish that I could be a better boyf to you, and give you 100% freedom and 100% trust. Not getting jealous, not demanding us to meet. and just letting you do anything you liked. I regretted that I controlled you too much. I regretted that, I was jealous about you. I regretted that I ignored you before our relationship. I regretted for making you angry.

But it was all because I love you. Last year on countdown, I thought I would have someone to welcome the New Year and Christmas with me. But, it never came true. I kept talking to some of my friends, wanting them to lighten the sadness in me. But, they soon called me naggy. I could only keep every sadness in my heart and cry silently.

I'm not sure when will we meet again and what will happen if we meet on streets one day. How would I feel? Would I cry? I dont know. I just want to tell you that, I still love you. No matter what you did and how you treated me. I'll still wait for you to come back and give me your love again. 我爱你。

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Posted by my memories at 9:33 PM