25 December 2010
How I thought of you before and even till this very day..
If loving and thinking of you was breathing. I guessed, I love you and thought of you every single second of my life, till my last breath..
Posted by my memories at 11:16 AM
Spechless
Merry Christmas to all!
Sigh.. I dont know why do I still tear after reading her letter she gave before our breakup.. That evening when I read it, I even teared on the very first sentence she wrote. I really dont know what's with my herat. Am I reall too stupid, dumb? or what? Why am I still not forgetting her after 8 mths since the breakup?
At the start of this year, I thought that I could have someone by my side to celebrate Christmas and welcoming the New Year. But for now, I think I can jump in the sea and drown. I dont think thats possible for now. I really felt very betrayed. Why cant I still find true love? Why is that every girl just liked to play with ppl's feelings? It's isnt the matter that girls said guys are jerks. Like what she told me before we're tog. I siad I would prove to her I would be faithful. Sigh, now it had became that girls are one of them too?
If forgetting was really that easy, I would have really forgotten her that very day we broke up. and I wouldnt even care to cry in front of her. You tell me on 10, how many guys would cry for their girlfriends? But well, crying myself to sleep sometimes at the start its really a norm. Now, even tho I dont cry myself to sleep, but its still heartbreaking for me. and I dont know why did she keep appearing in my dreams? 3days in a roll or more?
This year its really my worst birthday, Christmas and New Year ever. In 2 days more, would be after a year, the day that I had confessed to her. For now, I just hope that nothing happens to me on the 12th Jan. Hope my MRI scan doesnt shows up anything bad. But I know it would. I know myself well whats happening to me. Well, if my illness could be exchanged for her love, I might think its really worth it.
Posted by my memories at 11:07 AM
